How to Apologize Properly

Today is kiss and make-up day. For a lot of people, saying “I’m sorry” can be difficult. But don’t worry, we’re here to help guide you through the best apology you’ll ever give.

Step 1: Swallow your pride and admit you’re wrong. Before you even begin to apologize to someone, you first need to admit to yourself you were wrong and understand why this person deserves this apology. If you’re having a hard time figuring out why this person deserves an apology, try putting yourself in their shoes.

Step 2: Figure out exactly what you want to say and rehearse it in your head. A good apology should address yourself, the other person, and the issue at hand. For example, say you borrowed your friend’s white t-shirt and then you accidentally spilled a bunch of cherry Koolaid all over it and now it’s stained. A proper apology would consist of you saying something along the lines of, “Thank you for letting me borrow your shirt, but I accidentally spilled a bunch of cherry Koolaid all over it. I feel so terrible for doing this and I understand if you’re upset. I’m so sorry, it won’t happen again. What can I do to make it up to you?”.

Step 3: Talk to the person face to face. It’s important to give an apology face to face that way the other person can see how genuine you are. Your nonverbal cues and tone will help convey the sincerity behind your apology. Be sure to maintain good eye contact, since it shows you’re trustworthy and honest.

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Step 4: Don’t resort to blaming or giving excuses. Part of apologizing is owning up for your own mistakes instead of trying to pass the blame on to someone or something else. Always remember that excuses only satisfy those who make them. Also remember that the other person may be upset about the news you shared with them, and they are entitled to be this way. Allow them to express their concerns over the incident. They are most likely frustrated with the situation and not you.

Step 5: Don’t forget to add, “It won’t happen again”. A lot of people forget to add the second part of the apology after saying I’m sorry. One mistake is an accident. Two is just ignorance. By letting the other person know you are actively trying to avoid this situation again, your apology will be more sincere.

Will this guarantee your relationship with the other person will remain intact forever? No. It really depends on what you did and how the other person will react. It may take a while for the other person to trust you again, but this is one of the most effective ways to start regaining that trust.

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